Human connection is the joining or linking of human beings through social relationships, networks, interactions, and shared or common interests. Those enjoying human connection have a sense of community and mutual support through increasingly deep and strengthened emotional bonds that create closeness and intimacy. Tom Ford asserts, “The most important things in life are the connections you make with others.”
God created human beings in His image. Humans are designed to be in perfect unity with each other and their Creator in the ideal picture of relational safety, vulnerability, trust, and acceptance. Anglican Bishop Desmond Tutu best described God’s original intent this way:
The solitary human being is a contradiction in terms; we are made for complementarity. We are created for a delicate network of relationships, of interdependence with our fellow human beings. We belong in one family – God’s family, the human family; the greatest good is communal harmony.
Disconnection is Society's Greatest Problem
Humans who disengage from relationships make themselves and create others who are disconnected, withdrawn, or detached from social, emotional, relational, or organizational situations. Disconnecting from God and each other began in Eden when Adam disobeyed God and failed to protect His wife.
According to research conducted by Sociologist Brené Brown of the University of Houston, disengaging from others is the worst form of betrayal. It is incredibly damaging because it does not come from an overt action or trauma. Disengagement is not caring or paying attention to someone we once connected deeply with. Disengaging one person from another creates uncertainty and a feeling that something is missing for no apparent reason.
Over time, disengagement triggers shame and our greatest fears, the fear of abandonment, unworthiness, or being unlovable. The pain associated with these feelings leads to lashing out, anger, and sometimes violence. Moreover, American Psychological Association research indicates a strong link between poor social support and burnout, signaling that burnout is tightly correlated to the absence of authentic connection and genuine care in the home and workplace. Disconnection from God and each other is the underlying source of all pain and suffering in the world.
Trials and Challenges of Disconnection
Brené Brown’s research reminded me of my experience with disengagement and disconnection from God and human relationships. I learned of the emotional and psychological challenges children suffer when families disconnect, including a sense of loss, fear of abandonment, and low self-esteem. Indeed, I suffered from these feelings after my father left and my mom sent me to boarding school. These feelings may also lead young people to look elsewhere for connection as they turn to overeating, alcohol, illicit drugs, gangs, and sex outside of marriage or with multiple partners.
Disconnection in the family affects a child’s ability to form healthy relationships in the future as the child grows up struggling with trust issues and without a model for how to relate with others. Disconnection in my family as a child led me to build a wall around myself to protect myself against further hurt as I aged. Like many in society, I practiced projecting my pain onto others by not trusting, judging, and showing anger. Indeed, like Adam and Eve in Eden, we suffer from the consequences of our choice to disengage from our Creator and each other. Accordingly, we hide from God and each other with shame as men dominate their wives, women desire the roles of men, and we mistreat others as we toil in our labor.
A human’s choice to disconnect distorts humankind’s relationship with God and each other. Distortions that impact our attitudes, values, and relationships create moral evil that leads to a willingness to commit acts of cruelty, crime, war, class struggles, discrimination, slavery, and other injustices. Thankfully, by His grace, God offers a solution.
The Solution to Disconnection
Immediately following Adam’s choice, we learn of God’s plan to restore humans to Himself and each other through another human, Jesus. God humbled himself to teach us how to love Him, love each other, and accept the punishment that we deserve, according to the law, for transgressions against God and each other. Jesus taught us of our need to be vulnerable and place complete trust in Him for our lives, which brings spiritual rebirth and connects us to others who also put their faith in Him as equal members of His Church so that we may trust, encourage, build up, and serve each other.
God’s solution to my disconnection from Him and other human beings has been life-changing, both temporally and eternally. Before salvation, this self-centered husband, father, and previous military and industry leader was oblivious to the need for a deep connection to God, family, the Church, and society. Thankfully, the Spirit has transformed my mind and placed a vision in my heart to meet spiritual needs and develop future leaders for sustaining church growth in Southern MD and serve others by helping them discover their passion and purpose for growth and regenerate exhausted or burnt-out individuals, dead or dying families, ministries, organizations, or businesses.
Returning the Love of God to Others
By God’s grace, mercy, and the love of Jesus, I combine 36 years of service, sacrifice, and leadership experience in and with the United States Navy with a Master of Divinity from Liberty University and growth and wisdom from my transformation with Jesus so that I may serve and encourage others as a trusted advisor.
Armed with biblical principles, the Holy Spirit, and life experiences, I help people improve their quality of life by educating others on how to avoid the relational mistakes I made before accepting Christ as my Lord and Savior while teaching strategies that create deeper relationships within families, organizations, and communities.
Please comment below on your thoughts on human connection or how we can help.
